Monday, October 26

time to purge

I think this is going to be a vomit post- you know the ones, they just spill out, no real theme or rhyme or reason, no plan. Its either that or no post at all, and that just bugs me no end, so goddamit, Im posting! It could turn into a whinge post too, about how tired I feel which also makes me not want to post (i know, just dont do it! but well I must be a bit OCD or something, else just a control freak coz i want to write but cant put two coherent thoughts together really, so lets just see where this ends up..) Well now that Ive started its surprisingly alieviated some pressure, of what we're still not sure, right?. Im cooking, just not posting about my storms, not entirely sure why, but mostly it just seems like just our bloody dinner and who the hell would be interested in the tortilla, the pide or the bio-burger? Im still gardening and its the same gig; who the hell cares that the leaves are being munched off the tomato plants by unidentified leaf munchers who leave bare stems in their wake? or the cucumbers Ive planted out, who gives a hoot? I suppose my creative mojo has just been subsumed. Kids, house, garden, paid work, clubs, volunteer work, PhD. Have found myself frequently wondering how people manage big families? Crrr-azy busy!

The 'holy crap B1 is dating a bloke' saga continues. The heats gone out if it (at my end only!) Shame. Was hoping for some incompatible fizzle. But we're all still talking, being honest and telling it like it is around here and we have noticed that she has grown and met our expectations with her usual amazingness and loads of responsibility, so i am really appreciative of her management of most of the stuff thats come up and out of this situation. Every now and then she shows her age and I just want to slam my adult trump card down on the table and say ' see, its too hot! get out of the kitchen' or 'you wanna play being a grown up, this is what you have to deal with' but mostly I manage the demon. She tells me stuff, I respond, we debate and we move through. Its all good, well as good as it can be when you've got shit like this going on. We still havent met, Ive tried but apparently he's concerned about his hair... A spin off issue has been appropriately guiding her little sister through the matter. Not easy when they talk to each other and Im the bad guy. Im hoping for a rewarding parenting moment in 15 years time.

The garden grows, problems get solved, we love and laugh, we clean and tidy and sweep and wash, work gets done and time passes.

The Thing moves on.
It should be a great Christmas.


Katy said...

Your purgeing makes sense to me - you inspire x

elburro said...

It's reassuring to hear that you lose your creative mojo under the piles of daily stuff sometimes too.

I'm in awe of your strength as a mother....hoping to be able to follow suit as the challenges get ever more complicated.

Olive said...

I wish that I had been as wise and aware as you are while my brood were growing up.

belinda said...


If you are managing to spread your energy that thin you are doing well.

You have built some wonderful, strong relationships there. I honestly can't imagine being able to do as well if faced the same way.

Kind Regards

Laura Jane said...

Ah, the beauty of blogging raises its head again. A PLACE to purge / whine / vomit all concerns / process the whirling thoughts / and state what your mates in cyberspace are also experiencing with minor substitutions.

Once again, you've captured it perfectly.


slinks off to consider blogging a post entitled "what she said" with a link to this, cos I too am sick of listening to myself whining about All. The. Stuff. soon?

kale for sale said...

Is this fark? If it is I know exactly what it means. You've made me realize that everything is a garden in some way and not every day is pretty or easy but there's still no other place I'd rather be but in the midst of it. Thank you.

Kelly said...

katy- thank you.

elburro- ohh believe me I do and consequently some shiity posts get written! LOL. Thank you too, Im forever amazed at the generosity i find here! I can say that some great support from a great partner goes a long way.

olive- thank you too, its funny coz i just do what feels right and try try try to remember being that age.

belinda- Im really happy with how its all panning out. i must confess to breathing lots of sighs of relief. feel a bit like a puppeteer at times!

laura jane - nice to know others feel it too! Its a funny world blog land- brilliant too! Feel free, i do understand the 'cant think or do' moments. Xmas, well i m not normally a Xmas focuser, especially in October, but It my thesis submission adn Im looking forward to the SHEER RELIEF

kale- yup. Its Fark. You got it. Nice that you got something from my expulsion! AN d yes, life. Its a wonderful thing really.