...life as describe by Belgian Waffle. Im not really the cynic at heart, Im an 'optimistic soul' but there are philosophical depths i tend not to explore here. I kind of feel i do enough hard mental work in my paid working hours and enjoy the lightness of debriefing about the other side of me on here. Sometimes i feel 'lightweight', like I should be all philosophy and contemporary political opinion but I figure thats what I read other blogs for! To fulfill that side of me that is feminist thinking and politically deconstructive. Sometimes my mind explodes with too much information that I cant process and write.
Over time I have dealt with my fair share of mental health issues, been at the brink of despair; Ive had moments where i have felt that life is not quite worth living at times, understood those who wanted to end it all, even with children. Im not there now, but I do 'get' the darker side, I appreciate and empathise with people's depths and I really do love a good dose of cynicism. Im a Black Books kinda girl. But right now, Im feeling rather grateful for,
:: the hour every morning I spend with my man and my boy just rolling around on our bed at dawn, playing, blowing rasberries, giving and recieving big boy and little boy cuddles, reading books, reading books, reading books and testing out a very small persons new language skills. Its such a wonderful hour.
:: the chance to have a new life, a loving life, an expansive , 'give it a shot' life
:: the opportunity to view myself froma different perspective, to have a whole new self paradigm.
:: the chance to reconnect with family
:: new friendships
:: the ability to think outside the square and view life from many angles
:: to see opportunity where i may not have in the past
:: to experience life , to know pain and sorrow and to really know that I can cope and manage on my own and live and love even when it feels like life is ending
:: to have choice
::to have knowledge, an education, space and time
::to have land to use and water to run
:: teenage daughters who give as good as they get, argue, call themselves feminist and want to win the lottery so they can spread the feminist word ( i did remind them that you dont need mney to be a feminist! but they arued it could do more work, further afield, for longer...)
:: to have food and wine and love and laughter
:: to have stability and peace in my life. A precious, very precious luxury
Im feeling rather appreciative at the moment.