Monday, December 7

Not ready for this...

Its a good thing i have been so busy. My mind has been well occupied. Tomorrow is D-Day. The meet the 'too-old-for-my-daughter-why-dont-you-just-fuck-off' bloke day. Im not ready. Im ill prepared. I have no speech, no knock out punch, no poisoned chalice or moment of hypnotherapy prepared. I dont even know what we're having for lunch. When I dont know what's for lunch you know I'm not prepared. Well I do know we ARE having salad coz apparently he doesnt do 'garden'. Well he can bloody well 'do garden' just coz thats whats in season so and you cant have your cake and eat it too right, and garden is bloody well low carbon and good for you and if everyone just ate meat and chips...can you tell im really looking forward to this? I just hope he doesnt start calling her darling or worse...babe then I just might choke on my chokoes, or thump him one, or get really pathetic and passive aggressive on him. Ah fuck it. Cant prepare for this. I'll be winging it and hope that we all make it out alive.Better get that gas bottle filled...

9 comments:

Jacqui said...

Good luck Kelly - I don't know what else to say 'cept YIKES!!!

Pip at Rest is not idleness said...

ditto here, remember if you can't say anything nice, say nothing.

Belinda said...

If the worst thing that happens in his day is that he has to face the idea of eating salad.. its been a good day for him.

You're right there is no way to prepare for this. Good Luck and just remember hitting a guy over the head with a cast iron pot often leads to criminal charges :-)

Kind Regards
Belinda

Veggie Gnome said...

All the best!

Heed Belinda's advice.

Ps.: I hope you are not serving any of our berries!!!

Em said...

Hey Kel, good luck good luck good luck. If all else fails you can arrange for your friends to fix him up. Go the garden!

I was a bit older at barely 18, but very naive. Madly in love with the 36yo who'd previously taught me English (oh yes). A story for another day...

But I seem to remember being mildly amused at my parents' restraint and manners when I knew that they really wanted to tear his head off. Manners and principles are good b/c when it *does* become clear to her that he's a tosser, you're still the reliable safety net of family xxx

elburro said...

good luck! i'll be eagerly waiting for the next installment...i'm looking to you as my guide for parenting teens...

greenfumb said...

I definitely feel for you, it's far worse than the driving thing. Could you stick a few rhubarb leaves in his salad "by mistake".

I am sure you will handle it beautifully and as someone else said one day she will see him as a tosser and you will be there to commiserate with her.

Good luck!

wombat064 said...

Hey Kel, put a shovel in his hand and make him dig a hole.
when he enquires what its for inform him its to be his grave if he hurts your daughter...

Good Luck
Phil xx

Zoe said...

Mabye you'll like him? Possibly, he's an interesting person.

Have a good day. And yes, don't hit him :)