certainly is for me. i find myself in a very new parenting space this evening , an interesting and challenging one which dares me to confront my morals, my assumptions, my values and expectations. B1 is having a friend sleep over. no biggie. happens all the time. kids crammed in her bedroom giggling and chatting and doing their hair. tonight jesse is sleeping over. jesse's a boy. a lovely sweet gentle, soft 6"3' Jamaican boy with dreads. She's 14. He's 16. what was i thinking when i said 'yes'?
They met months ago on my space/ msn/ some social networking chat site. They catch up in town every Friday after school and spend the evening together with their friends. B1's going to QLD this Sunday and he wanted to see her before she left and tonight was their only opportunity after the school week. They're not going out, not boyfriend and girlfriend. Yet. At this stage they're just mates who get along. she really likes him ( he's so hot Mum) but i think shes just not that interested in having a boyfriend, although most of her friends are boys. She finds girls 'too giggly and gossipy and game playing' and often tells me she just wants to grow up and be an adult so she can just leave all this teenage crap behind.
whaddaya do? In this new world order apparently its cool, ok, fine to be doing this ( according to them that is, the teens) B1 asked me like it was no biggie, nothing out of the ordinary to have him come stay, just another friend . when i umm'ed and ahh'ed she asked me what my issues were! lol and told me categorically that she'd never do anything in the house with a boy coz 'we were there', to which B2 piped up with 'they do it and youre here' lol. ohh tooo much! So i figured 'what they hey', trying to over control their 'growing up stuff' is just too problematic and I'd much rather have them here and safe, whatever the gig, than out partying, driving, drinking etc. So he's here for the night, we've all talked about bedding, hes on the floor in her room on a futon pad and surprisingly, im ok with it all.
I think its particularly difficult as B1 is a really mature 14; physically, emotionally and intellectually and finds herself 2 grades ahead in school, still excelling and with school peers who are 16. Keeping her back i feel is foolish, possibly opening myself up to losing her like my mum did me, so i give her a bit more rope/choice than i ever had. I just have to trust, keep trusting, that our communication and honesty will get us through. But it's such a fine line to balance upon...Im very aware. Too much...not enough...
So they're back from the video store, Ive got their sleeping sorted, we've chatted over dinner and on the outside Im all cool and sweet. Ive told her that if anything goes weird, feels wrong, just come see me. Eeeeeeeeeeeee. Its all so new.
Sooo, kids upstairs 'watching vids' and Im down here blogging about it. Thats pretty new world order.
man, i meant to do a gardening post today!