Sunday, July 27

"so, how does it feel being an older mother?"

As my mind was replaying the mornings events while i was 'recovering' in the bath alone after giving the boybean a bath this afternoon , my mind stumbled over an off the cuff remark made on the phone by the father of B1s friend earlier on. Which got me thinking and that led to the realisation that i have been fending off peoples queries about being a parent to a small baby 'this late in life' for the past 12 weeks. The thing is, i dont think Im old, not even close. i dont consider myself at 38 to be an 'older mother'. Ive forgotten the term used by the medical profession for 'older mothers'(defined as 35+) but by memory, it's something hideous and doesn't even remotely sound like something I'd be into but apparently everyone else is thinking the same thing. They are all trying to work out if it's a shock, awful, stressful... "are you coping dear?, "regretting the romantic decision to have another one with a new father?" Now here's the deal, being a parent to a new small person who was very much planned is 100% easier so far at 38 than it was parenting planned babies at 24 and 28. So yes, Ive had 10 years between night feeds, nappy changes and unfathomable crying but the maturity, wisdom and consequently laid back approach more than compensates for parenting in my relative 'youth'. I certainly don't go running at the first wimper anymore, i know they survive. Throw what are effectively 4 adults into the mix and you've got minimal parenting at all to do, bar breastfeeding at this stage. So much so that i have to fight for a cuddle and a nappy change. So, to anyone thinking about having another baby after a considerable break I'd say, its heaven, blissful even, and the delight in watching older siblings fall in love and express their tender selves towards this divine new being is just priceless. I just need a back replacement, thats all.


Barbara said...

Primagravida? (my mother was 35
when I was born which at that time-
1959 - was unspeakably old!).

Kel said...

yep, thats the one, thanks Barbara. Primagravida, sounds awful doesnt it?