Thursday, November 27

blogging blues

blogging when you're pissed off and totally angry is really friggin' hard. Im having a mega bad week, day 7 but who's counting, right? im soo miss grumpy pants and blowing off my own socks but i havent managed to resolve anything. we (me and the as yet unmentioned other half of miss grumpys problem) have made no space and no time. i hate that and totally when we have relatives over and really need to be in a good space for their pleasure and comfort but we have had no time or space to get into a better head space together so were going through the 'pretending everything is ok but everyone knows somethings off rigmarole' (maybe they cant but it feels that way). i cant remember the last time i was in a funk for this long - its totally stubborness related. i think im playing the 'im not gonna do all the emotional relationship work around here so im not gonna be the one to start the conversation, you have to start it' game. its killing me. im sleep deprived from baby, breastfeeding, parenting two others, menstruating and ships cook and i dont want to add 'emotional manager of the relationship' to my list. Fuck. I'd better do something about 'it' before we go on holidays! i just refuse to believe that men cannot start conversations of this kind and refuse to pretend that the catalytic blowup didnt happen. Im wanting a conversation but refusing to start it. just how juvenile is that ? ugh.

6 comments:

innercitygarden said...

The sort of relatives you can leave a baby with? How 'bout: "you're taking me out for lunch"? Take a picnic to a park so there aren't lots of other people around.

Just start it, then add "I don't want to be the emotional manager etc" to the agenda as item 1.

At our house the "conversation" starts and the response is "I'm dumb you have to tell me when there's something wrong cause I wont notice", to which I reply "Don't Be Dumb!"

Stewart said...

So who needs to be right the most?
No matter how much a guy puffs up his feathers you'll nearly always find a guy whose a little or a lot afraid of something.

Laura Jane said...

Yikes. Scary. I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking about it!

You're not alone...that doesn't help...find a space and spill your guts...make a list of emotional responsibilities on your respective plates - what I do/what you do...is it accurate?

State the old 3 positives then a negative, and back it up with another positive.....Oh shit what do I know....

Hope you get some resolution. And soon. This is horrible to live with traipsing around and around in your mind, winding yourself up with self-righteous anger

Veggie Gnome said...

Go out in the garden. Rip out some weeds. Stop and breathe in the lovely air. Try to breathe out some stress.

Then grab your other half and have a chat. There. Much better! ;)

Ps.: Are you telling me you are leaving in 7 days!? Bugger. The red currants are reddening and should be ripe in a week or two or three.

Another Ps.: Sending some goooood...relaaaaxiiing vibes.

Kel said...

innercity- nice idea and do-able, think i will do that tomorrow.

stewart- yes i feel a very storng need to be right! its sucks and is very detrimental and i know its the very wrong approach to relationships but... lol


laura jane-its been ages since ive felt this way! it's awful but i do know that hes such a good guy, despite this falw' lol, that we will get somewhere when we start talking. hes definitely of the anything you need to make it work ilk, i just need to be able to articulate a position for myself.

Veggie - thanks and yes, space and breathe. i feel better this arvo, time heals. and we leave on the 5th! prolly bad timing for currants, bummer, back in the new year if thats any good...

tomorrow, resoloution. keep ya posted!

Slice of life said...

Hi there just popped over from Crunchy Chicken.

Love the loo flipping standing on the ceramic comment. Made me chuckle.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough patch. Talk to him and if the carp hits the fan, blame it on the hormones.

Or do me, chicken out, and make comments every so often. I used to love it when we used to talk, remember what that was like.... You never know he may feel the same? and isnt sure how to start the conversation.