Saturday, August 1

life takes over your life

if you know what i mean...
i finally hauled myself off to the doctors this week to get a full blood test done. Thyroid malfunction at both extremes have plagued many women in my family so i wanted to get this and my iron count checked. I have been experiencing tiredness like never before. The 'is this what CFS feels like?' tiredness. The 'ohh i know ive just had 10 hours sleep but i could go a whole days extra' kind of tiredness. She actually laughed at me "yes i know i work, am finishing writing a thesis, have a one year old, two teenagers, am trying to set up a business, have a garden to manage, a household to help run and exercise three times a week, but i feel more tired then normal" . I have to say after telling her all that i felt pretty stupid! hmmm, maybe i no longer know what normal is?

Life seems to be running away from me, im happy, interested, enthusiastic, but i cant seem to squeeze enough hours out of the day to do what i want to do. i need spares, time vouchers please. So this weekend im purposefully spending my time slowing down, sorting out my life by cleaning and organising the study, removing dead printers,sorting the piles that need filing so i dont lose track of where im at. im feeling like another week of chaos may tip me over the edge "sorry, what company are you from? who are you? i ordered what?" I know myself well enough now that a good tidy up followed by the reward of a few long hours chopping and stirring fridge and pantry contents into something special is literally just what the doctor ordered. Now, i just have to decide on the something really tasty and special to cook? What do you like to indulge in preparing when you're in need of some one-on-one with a saucepan? Some ideas would be great.

9 comments:

Katrine said...

gosh! when you list all your major commitment like that it's horrifying! i can't imagine being that busy...
when i'm in need of a re-charge like only cooking something tasty can bring half the fun is spending a good hour or so looking through my recepie books dreaming of all the posibilities. it always ends up being somthing that takes ages bubbling in the oven though becasue i really enjoy making side dishes and sipping a glass of wine while the hosue fills with all the lovey aromas.
have a relaxing weekend :)

Barbara said...

Curries, you can't go past
curries!

Kel said...

katrine- oh i do agree, but with my timeline i have to super orgnised and do the recipe book curl up in bed the night before...lol but i did, thanks to barbara, make a lovely curry and sides, with wine in hand, and stood stirring, cat stevens playing, spices wafting and everyone happy. bliss

barbara- the gardens cauliflower and potatoes did end up as curry, a dry one. aloo gobi and beans and raita. thanks for the tip.

Maggie said...

Leek, cauliflower and potato soup or chicken, noodle and veggie soup.
All finished with a great handful of chopped parsley and freshly crushed garlic. YUM!

Jacqui said...

I started today thinking about all the roles I have in my life and how increasingly tiring I'm finding it to keep up with everything and everyone. I decided that I needed to clean and organise the study - pulled everything out and went to hardware to buy more shelves etc to get myself organised. At 4 o'clock, with mess everywhere, M. started getting ready to go to Sydney to a friend's 40th. I felt completely run down and not in the mood but made myself go. When we got to Sydney I decided to come back home (2.5 hr round trip). Spent entire trip home thinking how much I need to book into doc to get full blood test done as I'm sick of feeling so tired all the time. Made myself a cuppa, sat down in messy study surrounded by drill, screws, shelving parts, uni work, work stuff, craft mess, and crap everywere, turned on the computer and the first thing I read is your post! Sigh. Why didn't I just do the same thing and have a quiet night in too?! Will I never learn. My comfort food is always a vegie curry or a lentil dahl.

Jacqui said...

ha - just read your comment about Cat Stevens and a glass of red - now that's a night in!!

Jen said...

Glad you found a few quiet moments, Kel. I make spinach and feta pie when I need to calm myself and nurture my family.

6 filo layers below: filling 3-4 eggs, packet of feta + 2 packets Logan chopped spinach + 3 spring onions + mutmeg + bayleaves, then 6 more layers of filo. Its dead easy and richly rewarding.

Maybe you just need a take-a-way night and go to bed early???

Oh, as you know my sister has had CFS for 12+ years now, and I reckon she would say if you can actually get out of bed in the morning and do the stuff you do, then its unlikely you would have this syndrome. I sincerely hope you dont.

Try this: sit quietly somewhere in your house that you love (your space) and watch your mind 'bubble up' lists and all the things that keep you busy. Acknowledge the thoughts, and let them go. Wait until there is nothing left that you havent recognised on the 'to-do' lists. write it down if you need to. when your mind is clear, just sit with this blank-slate for as long as you can. Listen to sounds around you...tune out. Its hard, but can help...

Kel said...

Jacqui - thats too funny, what co-incidence, but then, these things do happen. I hope you've had a good rest now and a lovely weekend. Curry it was, and it was delish.

jen- i will try and remember to take a moment! lol thanks for the tips. I did know it wasnt cfs but when youre so tired you start wondering you kinda think there must be something wrong!

kale for sale said...

I know it's past the weekend but when I get overwhelmed I simply make a pot of brown rice, I love the earthy fragrance of it, and then head to the couch for a nap. What luxury.