Sunday, September 6

Complicated


Fathers Day. On the outside its a straight forward idea. Have dad, will travel. I dont remember my real Dad, he left for war and came back a broken man, left us and died before i could track him down. Poor bugger, he was my age when he died. Apparently i have two half sisters out there Ive never met.

I grew up with my great uncle, he was my 'Dad' but he passed away at 90 a few years back. My ex step-dad (?!)is still around, we see each other a few times a year but a close relationship its not. Fathers Day is a complicated wrangle of memories, not sures, ex hubands, kids and 'who does what' and now with the bean its a fine balance between making a fuss of 'his' Dad and the girls Dad being so far away. Im usually glad when the day has passed. I found this pic of my Dad on the Australin War Memorial website a few months back. I was pretty pleased to find three as i had previously only 1 photo of him. I love this one coz its so cheesy. He's on the right. The Blokes had breakfast in bed and is now finishing some building work. Normal? Happy Fathers Day to all the Fathers out there, whatever form you may take! Im spending Fathers Day doing some online searching for my Dads story and some possible clues to finding some more family members.

9 comments:

naturewitch said...

Hi Kel
So sad you didn't know your "real" Dad. Nothing can ever bring that back {{hugs}}. Hope your search for his (and your) story is fruitful. xx

Jacqui said...

Ah Kelly that's sad reading for you and your Dad. The photo is a gem though, isn't it? I hope you can find out more about him and your half sisters. It must be hard to juggle your own experience with that of your kids too.

We have our own sadnesses on Fathers Day so I'm always glad when it's gone. I didn't grown up with my father and my step-father is a very difficult man so if anyone comes close to the mark for me it's my grandfather who died many years ago and my eldest brother who has always looked after me. At least this year we were well distracted!

Kelly said...

naturewitch- thanks but you know its not something thats ever really bothered me ina missing kind f way. it was all just so normal to 'not have'. i hope to turn something up!

jacqui- life is a funny juggle sometimes and my issues are more about discomfort thn sadness when it comes to "dad' stuff on all the fronts.So many variables!

notesfromthefrugaltrenches said...

I'm sorry you weren't able to meet your biological or first father, but I'm glad you had someone else there. Father's Day for us is in June!

And yes, these holidays can be quite complicated!

Laura Jane said...

MMmmmm, families sure can be complicated. I'm glad you had a Dad-like figure. And I hope you are able to track down your half -sisters.

I spent Father's Day sleeping, and my hubby took himself and our youngest to lunch and hour or so's drive away, with his family. The our eldest cooked him dinner. It seemed a good day.

Armagnac Daddy said...

Hi Kelly. Melancholic and complicated, but such is life- as an adoptee I formed the view (perhaps defensively) that the persons who raise you are your primary parents. I swayed the other way a bit on the basis of various genetic determinist type arguments out there, until I became a dad. Again, I think it is my day to day relationship with Bear and Mitts, and the sacrifices I make for them, that constitute the primary pillar of my being their parent, not the DNA I passed on (poor things!).

This is not to take from your quest, just that I can empathise with the way you say it was normal for you. Good luck with your search.

I met my birth father a few times, but was too late to meet my grandparents on his side, or my grandfather on the maternal side, and that was a bit sad. Hope to learn more one day...

Kelly said...

NFFT- he was a great 'dad' too. Couldnt have asked for a better life mentor.

laurajane- yeah, agree and sounds like a very horizontal day for you!

armagnac- Hi. yes genertic knowledge does play a role for me too. Being a co-parent with a bery disfunctional biological dad, Im 100% on the who's there for you bandwagon! The interest and love is always there with biology but it counts for only a part of whole.

Karin said...

That photo is great. What a moment in time. These sorts of days are complicated - Mothers Day, Fathers Day. I am usually glad when they are over.

Armagnac Daddy said...

Oh see my latest for a sharp decline in my own relationship with father!