Its the small things that count..well and the people, the relationship.
Having a blog, embracing it and all the wonderful varied folk who drop by and read it is one of those wonderful post-modern, novel, strange, and all other adjectives you can think of which encompass contemporary life. I have had many situations occour over the last few months where i have had to stand back from a moment, a comment, a circumstance due to my blogging habit, take a breath and go 'yeah, this is my life and i like it and i like blogging'. Explaining blogging relationships to a non blogger is sometimes really tricky.
Meeting up with bloggers, swapping stories, stuff, know what each other has been up to, travelling away from home and wondering if a blogging comrade wants to meet up too, running into readers who recognise you from your blog and introducing themselves 'yes, we know each other, quite well, but not really'.
Its the 'not really' that interests me on an intellectual level and Ive been thinking about this alot recently, as my tradiional friendship group has morphed over the years into something new. As professionals were all doing our own thing, moving where lifes opportunities take us, no longer stationary and available all at once, like we all used to be.
Additionally, at work Im all academic; the teacher, the researcher, dragging around a speciality, a credibility, an international reputation. Online, Im just Kel, my publications and letters and position dont matter. I am my most fundamental passions here; cooking, growing, conscious living, writing, loving, family and having relationship based on all these things. What counts is what i reveal; my life and thoughts and expereince. Its a whole other world. And yes, Ive been thinking about changing professions! LOL
What i find intriguing is the 'depth' which one exposes in a blog, what I expose in a blog.I suppose its just like writing or reading letters. Revealing.
I think what i am getting at is that it's a new frontier (new to those who take it up) requiring a new cognition and emotion to support it. People know you, yet they dont, yet they do! You know them, yet you dont, yet you do! Its a weird one to reconcile. Maybe its just me? Knowing, friendship, how is it defined? As you like it I believe.
Well , Im loving the new connections, the commnuity Im building, the exploration, the sharing, the novelty, the frontier. The way i get to share in such a 3D way; pictorialy, referentially, descriptively. Its such a wholistic communication in some ways. As a medium, its brilliant. Thanks for sharing. Im appreciating the relationship we have, you and me, every so often. I value your time, your comments, your experiences and Im loving this part of my journey. Who else would be interested in fungi Ive found, recipes I've discovered, dramas I've had and insights experienced, but friends of many kinds?
I am looking forward to seeing how my blogging fares over time, where it will be in 10 years time...where I will be in 10 years time...where we will be in 10 years time...how sustainable is 'it'?
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11 comments:
(typing with baby in a sling) Yes, just wanted to add an "amen" to what you said about the coolness/weirdness of blogging friendships. I've actually made some really close real-life friends who started out as blog readers and we eventually met up in person. Blogging was one of the things that kept me sane when I was living in a very small town in Illinois and basically had no real-life friends for 3 years.
It is a funny thing, isn't it, this blogging. This knowing but not knowing. I appreciate the long distance friendships of a sort, the kindnessess, good will, ideas and humor shared. All of which feeds my relationships that are up close and every day. I met a couple of bloggers over the weekend and I have to tell you they were the nicest people. It was quite fun. Thanks for the food for thought here. Sometimes I do think I have to give up blogging to focus more on the people up close but when I remember to breath there's room for it all. And I do love the process.
You've articulated many of the thoughts I've had about blogging, particularly the intimacy/non-intimacy aspect of revealing inner bits but being unknown. A bold new frontier indeed!
Something I find interesting is my occasional reluctance in giving out my blog URL to people I actually know in the flesh...it has something to do with what you were describing as being seen within a role I think. Have to mull that one over a bit.
Something I really like about blogging is the way it enables the development of community around things that matter to people on an emotional level. It's not always easy to find like-minded friends in your immediate neighborhood, and it's comforting? validating? reassuring? to know that out there in the big wide world are others who think like you do.
Hey Kel,
Get ready for a visit from the Wombat about mid January, I will finally get to pedal, blog and wwoof my way around Oz
Phil
We love you, too, Kel! :)
Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful one. May your (blogging) mojo always be with you. :)
Birthday? Well, happy birthday from me too :-)
And yes, I totally get the knowing/ not knowing aspect of blogging. I find it a little odd (uncomfortable even?) when I am reminded that my husband and family read my blog and yet, clearly they are the people who "know" me the best IRL.
thanks for such interesting comments everyone. i too feel funny about handing out my url to real life friends- in fact only 1 knows i blog!!! i even discourage si from reading it- its private in a strange way and its mine...hmmm. and its definitely the truth that finding like minded friends is challenging, well like minded on most levels anyway. I love my blogging community and look forward to everyones comments and posts, always.
I agree with all the comments too (well not Wombat064) I started blogging as a bit of a vent for myself, and now I suppose it is a sort of a journal. The only people I have given my url to are my family and of them, my sister is the only one who reads it regularly. I would be reluctant to give it to real-life friends as I don't think they would appreciate or "get" my blog, unlike my blog friends.
Happy Birthday Kel
As one of your 'real life' friends, I find I know you in a whole new way here in blogsville. It is a more intimate way of knowing a friend... exactly what is on your mind every day. Its a way of catching up, way beyond the time we would ordinalrily give each other in our busy lives... but i wonder what we also lose?
The value of face-to-face friendships is so special. There is so much non-text based, inexpressible stuff that occurs in the excange between two people in the same room. For me, spending so much time on-line with my FB friends (less so blog at the moment) i feel less inclined to pursue friendships in the 'real world'...that could be more about being geographically removed from my dearest Adelaide friends who know me well!
jen - its an interesting thing this online life..i love the challenges it poses...on re-reading this post i went hmm, actually its 4 'real life' friends who know my url... 2 visit regularly. I love the depth it gives, things i wouldnt know, ways of describing that you wouldnt normally fathom in another. I find it a wonderful 'adjunct' and realistically, when i blog it late at night or early morning, time when i cant chat with 'real life' friends coz blog land is time neutral- people pick it up when they want to. It will never replace spending face to face time with peopl for a particular quality but i think its a valid and constructive way of connecting!
Entirely agree that on-line communication is both valid and constructive... and one form of communication never fully replaces the other, only adds another dimension to friendships. But...but...something does change. Im not sure I can express here what it is. But its something to do with the plastic medium of exchange (the computer) between me and you. The 'pause' between what you tell me and how I respond to you. And this crazy ether where our words whip around for all to read.
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