Sunday, May 10

10 things about Mothers Day

1. Mothers Day feels weird. Im not really a big fan of the mothers day thing. Maybe its coz Im the mother side of a split parenting couple so mothers day is not something thats been a seamless event, ive had to help the kids out lest they feel bad about forgetting or not 'doing' something to acknowlwdge it. I tried to let the day slip in the past, before i shacked up again with the bloke and they were devestated. Lesson learnt- even if you're not into it, the social pressures of it may have already affected your kids. Do it for them!

2. It forces me to confront the less than glorious relationship with my own mother, who every year desires a lunch with just my brother and me, no partners and no kids. My mum is one of those people whos' foot swings about whilst sitting and chatting and who wouldnt talk to me for days after the birth of B2, visited and held the baby but wouldnt talk to me, coz i didnt ask her to the birth as i had with B1... Not exactly relaxed and comfortable. Hasn't happenned yet... Avoided the day for another year as she left for Egypt and Turkey yesterday...

3. I love breakfast in bed and it happens but once a year, unless there has been a birth or illness. I love the way the kids invest themselves in the creative task of preparing and offering food. Its full of symbolism and giving and such a wonderful tradition. I used to have to make sure we had all the ingredients for them but now they get themselves organised and can work out a menu from what we have.

4. I have a love/hate relationship with Mothers Day ads for tacky gold jewellery and 'feminine' electrical equipment. Funny, yet not...

5. I never want to be one of those mothers who get wheeled out for the obligatory Mothers Day lunch at the local cafe and then taken for a stroll in the park. Well, maybe by then I will be grateful...

6. Mothers Day ends like any other day..starts with a bang, full of enthusiasm, goodwill and lotsa co-operation ...by the end of the day the kids are back to their normal selves.

7. A part of me thinks a great Mothers Day means not being a mother for the day... peace, quiet, a whole day of self directed pleasures and no interruptions or responsibility...oops

8. How do you work out 'mother priority' on Mothers Day?

9. Despite not being a mothers day 'follower', i have realised that despite that, i have some hidden perceptions about how i think the designated day should unfold. a) i will not make anyone food in the morning. b) i dont have to do any jobs for a few hours c) dinner is optional depending on my desire to create. Ive tried to deconstruct it but Ive just been brainwashed. Where did this only half a day of leisure thing come from. Is there a set of rules for mothers day? My very first mothers day 14 years ago, my then husband pretended to have forgotten...my response shocked me and made him keel over with laughter!

10. Mothers Day is celebrated around the world this second Sunday of May. Has anyone expereinced a mothers day in another culture and how does it differ? Is authenticity a part of the day for you ? Am i just a life long cynic? *sigh*

4 comments:

innercitygarden said...

My mother was and is very firmly of the belief that Mothers' Day is short for Mother's Day Off. So were to leave her alone to please herself. When we were old enough to leave she would take herself out somewhere.

This morning she sent me a text to thank me for the book I gave her, and I replied that I was reading the book I got. I did go out for a quick picnic lunch with my partner and son, but then I left them to feed the ducks. I've read a whole novel, and I've eaten food they don't like. And the Bloke will be cooking tea.

Now I'd better go and get some sewing done before this day ends and I have to wait til next year for some more peace and quiet.

Em said...

Sometimes I feel like I did grow up in a different culture; we lived in semi-isolation in a remote area, with no commercial media and a mother who was intensely independent, stubborn and cynical. She adored our dad and had given up whatever career she could have had as a uni-medal-runner-up, to go live in farNQ and become a mother. She was a critical thinking outspoken feminist and has spent the rest of her life reconciling motherhood, marriage and her own sense of self. Anyway, she didn't/doesn't like Mothers Day; she thinks it's a tacky commercialisation that gives people an excuse to get rid of the guilt they carry from ignoring their mum all year and then making a big (expensive) deal for one day... so I was raised with an uneasy sense of there being something "wrong" with Mothers Day. That feeling still hangs around the edges.

But I love the boys' excitement in the build up to MD, as they stash some school creation behind the toilet (yes) so that I won't find it... then the enthusiastic hugs and presentation of said gift in the morning.

It says something else about mum and our relationship, and her ability to evolve, that she's organised something for me each MD since I left the boys' dad. This morning she chatted secretly with the boys and they instructed me to go to a nursery... where a rose bush I'd been admiring with mum was waiting.

Kel said...

ICG- im officially taking your mothers idea as of next year! Glad you enjoyed a very deserved mothers day and put it to rather full use!

Em- lol- thinkin; i really like your mum too!! yes, those daggy edges of mother day are hard to trim and its prolly a very healthy scepticism, else we'd find ourselves with fluffy slippers, another blender and some half arsed something. its the kids enthusiasm thats the killer for me and i have to say that it was the crossover year to new partner that my mum didnt help out with the 'single' mothers day which was a mess! So i do owe my mum that thanks too! *guilt for bagger her in my post*. So glad you and ya boys had a lovely day- whatever may have been nehind to loo!

Annuska said...

In Spain is the 1st Sunday in May, but in latinamerica it varies a lot. The same questions that you have regarding it being a marketing-made tradition by the equivalent of David Jones in Spain (El Corte Ingles) are always debated in Spain but as here, kids love honouring and spoiling their mums, trying to guess what to give them, how to make a day (or a bit of it) dedicated to them, so everybody has that pressure and does it. I also call my grandma, just to make her happy...