{insert sad face picture here}
I had salad for dinner and um, I cant even recall lunch, so I admit to feeling quite hungry. I was fantasising about some delectables to eat and started dreaming of food and realised that most of the things I was salivating about are óff the list'. Contraband, not even just plain banned. Sheesh. Sometimes it sucks, especially when you see everyone else just blithely consuming, discounting, figuring that they only eat a little bit so it really doesnt count (i do realise that I am assuming that people are not doing it as a one-off, an educated moment, an exceptional event and am myself blithely assuming that people are generally doing the norm'' when they're out there consuming) So here's my top 10 , fuck I miss them, ethicurean-ism sucks list to compliment my previous 10 things list.
1. Prawns. Garlic prawns, Thai curry prawns, BBQ prawns, marinated prawns, Indian curry prawns, King prawns...any prawns'! Major over farmed problems with prawns.
2. Lobster. Lobster thermidore, lobster with homemade lime mayonaise, American lobster ala Julia Child...any lobster!. Ditto the prawn problem.
3. French cheeses. Sloppy stinky brie, teensy weesy hand rolled ashed cheesies, Boursin. Major bourjeoise food mile issues when we have plentygood local cheese, just not quite...
4. Çanned tomatoes. Any idea how hard it is to find a can of tomatoes that is made from local ingredients. Have a LOOK next time.
5. San Pellegrino- expensive and rather bad for you carbonated sugared drink all the way from Italy- i love the blood orange fizzy stuff. Sigh
6. Salmon... Its densely farmed...full of shit...loads of antibiotics, really, you wouldn't/shouldn't want to touch it with a bargepole... but god its good.
7. Lindt chocolate balls. No fair trade.
8. Coopers Pale Ale. GM yeast! Did ya know that??
9. Tuna. Sashimi, sushi, pasta, with salad, so easy. You KNOW its over farmed right?
10. Tommy Ruffs- bottom of the fish food chain and acceptable re. sustainability but so BLOODY expensive!
There ya have it. The food whinge at Chez Pan. You?
Tuesday, February 9
Monday, February 8
tree faeries

This is my most favourite flowering tree. Eucalyptus ficifolia. A Western Austalian flowering gum. Its a romantic soft, drooping stunner> It's no wonder to me that May Gibbs made up fairy tales about banksia men and gumnut babies. We have this salmon flowering one in the garden; a lovely old, knobbled, bent, gnarley thing it is with huge clusters of drooping pods.
There are so many colour variations. My favourite is the salmon orange that is just a little deeper in colour than ours and the screaming hot magenta. I have driven past many in flower but only today had my camera, but sadly en route only captured one, this gorgeous deep red.
Like summer fruits, i savour these in season.
Saturday, February 6
being irregular
Irregular not of body, just habit. My blogging brain has been replaced with a hectic schedule. The Bloke is caught deep within the green bowels of his election campaign and subsequently 'aren't we all'?. I'm juggling my work with his schedules, meeting crossovers, the kids look after themselves and the studio, once a spot for creative pursuits is home for an average of four meetings per week and is election campaign headquarters for the Greens up here in the hills. We've transported thousands of cups and glasses up there but still lug the kettle. Must get kettle.
The reason for my absence is just too bloody much going on.Its all good but like Tricia, the gardens getting a bit of a thrashing, damn cabbage moths and ,well so is the house, home beautiful's not coming round here this week that's for sure. In between meetings and work I have actually managed to get to the park a few times this week and surprised myself how protective Ive been with the bean- gentle soul he is and jeez- there's some nasty little buggers out there aren't there? Mother bear has come out to play at the park a few times this week. I gave the little shits the most evil eyes I could and they just glared right back. Yikes. Boys are whole new revelation.
The house is full of inter-state anti-GE dudes at the moment, all in Adelaide for the GE conference on this weekend. Western Australia has just caved in to Monsanto, South Australia is the last mainland state to remain GE free. We're surrounded. Word is that both the Liberal and Labour governments are committed to keeping the anti_GE moratorium for now. So lots of great dinner table conversations and networking has been going on at Chez Pan. Just havent had time to talk about it. So really, 'scuse my irregularity until the election is over. March 10. Vote Greens!
The reason for my absence is just too bloody much going on.Its all good but like Tricia, the gardens getting a bit of a thrashing, damn cabbage moths and ,well so is the house, home beautiful's not coming round here this week that's for sure. In between meetings and work I have actually managed to get to the park a few times this week and surprised myself how protective Ive been with the bean- gentle soul he is and jeez- there's some nasty little buggers out there aren't there? Mother bear has come out to play at the park a few times this week. I gave the little shits the most evil eyes I could and they just glared right back. Yikes. Boys are whole new revelation.
The house is full of inter-state anti-GE dudes at the moment, all in Adelaide for the GE conference on this weekend. Western Australia has just caved in to Monsanto, South Australia is the last mainland state to remain GE free. We're surrounded. Word is that both the Liberal and Labour governments are committed to keeping the anti_GE moratorium for now. So lots of great dinner table conversations and networking has been going on at Chez Pan. Just havent had time to talk about it. So really, 'scuse my irregularity until the election is over. March 10. Vote Greens!
Thursday, February 4
Zucchini . Day 3

Love in a dish. This was heavenly, if not crazy! I decided to cook a French meal when i got hone from work last night?! Sauteed diced potatoes (with no duck fat, boo!), sauteed beef, baked ricotta and this! I have finally found a way to get B2 to love zucchini! This zucchini loathing vego will gobble the green stuff up if its grated. Makes all the difference and I have to say, I know what she means.
This zucchini posting is turning in to a little bit of my own year of french cooking ala Julie & Julia. This is Julias' Courgettes au Gratin recipe from Volume 2. Its really really good. I could have eaten the whole dish on my own. Seriously, having too many zucchinis may not be enough.
Zucchini
1 1/2 pounds zucchini
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon shallot, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil or butter
Velouté Sauce
2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1 1/2 cups liquid (zucchini juices plus milk)
Salt
freshly ground white pepper
pinch nutmeg.
Cooking Directions
Zucchini
Grate the zucchini and toss in a colander with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt.
Let steep 20 minutes. By handfuls, twist in the corner of a towel to extract juices.
Saute; 1 tablespoon minced shallot briefly in a large frying pan with 2 tablespoons olive oil or butter, then add the zucchini and toss over high heat for two minutes or so, just until tender. 4. Save the squeezed-out zucchini juices.
Sauce
Melt the butter in a heavy saucepan, blend in the flour with a wooden spoon, and cook over moderate heat, stirring, until butter and flour foam together for 2 minutes without turning more than a buttery yellow color. Remove from heat, and when bubbling stops, vigorously whisk in all the hot milk and zucchini juice at once. Bring to a boil whisking. Simmer, stirring for two minutes season to taste.
Fold the zucchini into the sauce, spread in a buttered baking dish, and sprinkle over 1/4 cup grated Swiss cheese.
Bake in upper-third level of a 400 degree F. oven until bubbling and browned, about 20 minutes
I hand squeezed the zucchini and it may not have been enough. I was trying to cut corners and not use a towel ( why Im not sure??) but consequently, it was quite a runny gratin but bloody good. This one gets an A+++
Wednesday, February 3
the struggle to grow up
Watching your children struggle with learning how to navigate and integrate lifes' lessons is particularly heart wrenching. The words that tunmble out of my mouth at times seem clumsy and ineffective and being an adult, trying to explain or synthesis succintly into small consumable chunks, all of lifes' contradictions, unknowns and exponential possibilities confuses me and is daunting at times, especially with a weeping child to hand.
B1s issues of coming to terms with the reality of who her Dad is and not who she thought he was and wanted him to be really rip at the seams of my heart. Its agony watching her dreams crumble and her reality being forced to shift to account for the father she now experiences. For her, the stripping bare of the father figure; his limitations and inadequacies exposed, his apparent lack of ability to understand and empathsise and his inability to change behaviour that hurts her is making her grow up in a hurry.
Knowing I can do nothing really sucks. Talking, writing, engaging him is impossible. He lacks basic comprehension and empathy and is unable to change. He cannot commit, cannot make good on promises, cannot even remember what words he has said. His borderline personality disorder, which leaves him only half a person, one I was able to finally leave behind and make sense of, is now his oldest daughters turn to navigate.
Im just glad that I really understand , really know, the things about his behaviour and attitude she says hurt, frustrate and confuse her. He was my teacher about this disorder, now I am hers. Hopefully she can come through this next life phase with only a small wound. I have no doubt that he will blame me for her 'disillusionment', her perceptions and her experiences. I will be seen as the parent who is alienating his children from him; he is apparently completely unaware that his behaviour towards them and his conversations with them have real consequences. They are no longer little kids who can be manipulated and bought off with a piece of cake nor can their opinions be disregarded.
B1s issues of coming to terms with the reality of who her Dad is and not who she thought he was and wanted him to be really rip at the seams of my heart. Its agony watching her dreams crumble and her reality being forced to shift to account for the father she now experiences. For her, the stripping bare of the father figure; his limitations and inadequacies exposed, his apparent lack of ability to understand and empathsise and his inability to change behaviour that hurts her is making her grow up in a hurry.
Knowing I can do nothing really sucks. Talking, writing, engaging him is impossible. He lacks basic comprehension and empathy and is unable to change. He cannot commit, cannot make good on promises, cannot even remember what words he has said. His borderline personality disorder, which leaves him only half a person, one I was able to finally leave behind and make sense of, is now his oldest daughters turn to navigate.
Im just glad that I really understand , really know, the things about his behaviour and attitude she says hurt, frustrate and confuse her. He was my teacher about this disorder, now I am hers. Hopefully she can come through this next life phase with only a small wound. I have no doubt that he will blame me for her 'disillusionment', her perceptions and her experiences. I will be seen as the parent who is alienating his children from him; he is apparently completely unaware that his behaviour towards them and his conversations with them have real consequences. They are no longer little kids who can be manipulated and bought off with a piece of cake nor can their opinions be disregarded.
Tuesday, February 2
Chocolate and zucchini cake

For a change from the savoury use of zucchini, here's how i used up two a few days ago. Hide a few in some cake for a really moist eating experience! B1 & B2 were disappointed that they couldnt taste the zucchini (go figure)so if you like your cakes with veg then add some more. It was rich. It looks a little like the whoopie cakes from my university days, but dont let that put you off!
So if you have an extra zucchini or two hanging around (don’t we all?), this is a wonderfully subversive use for it!
INGREDIENTS
100g ounces good-quality organic, fair-trade dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup GE free canola oil
1 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose unbleached organic flour
1/4 cup unsweetened fair-trade cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup organic butter, softened
3/4 cup organic sugar, or less, according to taste
2 eggs
1 teaspoon fair-trade organic pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup organic buttermilk
1 1/2 cups grated organic zucchini or squash
1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 9-inch cake pan and dust with some unsweetened cocoa powder.
2. Melt the chocolate along with the oil in a double boiler or in a saucepan over low heat, taking care not to scorch.
3. Sift together the flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into a medium mixing bowl.
4. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition, then beat in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture and buttermilk, beating until combined, then fold in the chocolate and oil mixture, and the zucchini.
5. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool the cake in the pan for about 10 minutes on a wire rack, then invert it on the rack, remove the pan, and cool completely.
We ate it served plain, but i think some whipped cream and berries with it would be bewdiful!.
Thats 4 zucchini in 2 days! only what, 12 weeks of the season to go?
Monday, February 1
Smoosh pasta

This is one of my most favourite, yet super simple pasta sauces and it uses up quite a few of those veges that can languish in the fridge. The key ingredients are garlic, eggplant (aubergine) and ZUCCHINI! The thing with this pasta is its transformation from some pretty basic ingredients into a really deep, flavoursome smoosh that coats the pasta. Proportions are up to you and what's left in the fridge or ripening in the garden.
SmoosH pasta (serves 4)
1 eggplant(aubergine)
2 zucchini
1 large carrot
4 cloves garlic
salt and pepper to taste
olive oil ( a fair slug)
I added a leek to last nights sauce coz I had one that needed using. This dish is also particularly good with bacon added early but we cant do that here with the vego kids.
Finely dice all veg and cook for about 40 min on a low/med heat in olive oil until vege have lost most of their structure and are smooshing into each other. I actually mashed this with a potato masher last night so that B2 - the zucchini and eggplant hating vego (?!) couldnt pick anything out but she loves the overall flavour!
Serve with pasta and top with parmesan, black pepper and herb.
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